I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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