Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
