I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
