I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
