...so i touched it.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
