im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
