I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
