Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
