He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just had sex bonerless
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
