He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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