Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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