Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize