I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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