its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
