Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
