He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she peed on how many people?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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