We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
