and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
