he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
