NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
