I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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