I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
