I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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