is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
