Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
