toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
