i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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