I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
