are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
