No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
