If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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