whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
