okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
