ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
