Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
