I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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