he shaved USA in his pubs
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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