when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
