so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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