That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
