If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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