His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
