It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
