I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
