Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
