Me too!
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
