just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
FUCK WHALES
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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