Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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