Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
