WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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