it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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