textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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