i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
