Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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