ugly people sure do ruin things
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
