so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
