I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
