we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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