Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
