We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
