Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
