I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize