how can u be prego again
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize