I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
