I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
